This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria... I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing.
| Pat Glenn |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.
| Yogi Berra |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.
| Les Dawson |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe
| Jimmy Durante |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Whoever said 'nothings impossible' never tried to nail jell-o to a tree
| Lisa Bryant |
/5 - 1 vote(s) |
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.
| Benny Hill |
/5 - 1 vote(s) |
Stupid is what stupid does.
| Forrest Gump |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious
| Alan Minter |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
the bowler is Holding the batsmens Willey
| Brian Johnston |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
| Robert Bloch |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.
| George Bush |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
| George W. Bush |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
| Paddy O'Dea |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
| Al Bundy |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
| Albert Einstein |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all art and science.
| Albert Einstein |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
| Albert Einstein |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
| Albert Einstein |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Human beings, vegetables, or comic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible player.
| Albert Einstein |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Example isn't another way to teach, it is the only way to teach.
| Albert Einstein |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -how passionately I hate them!
| Albert Einstein |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Make crime pay - become a lawyer.
| Will Rogers |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.
| Will Rogers |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back!
| Will Rogers |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the martest race of people on Earth.
| Will Rogers |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
You can't say civilization isn't advancing; in every war they kill you in a new way.
| Will Rogers |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
| Will Rogers |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
| Will Rogers |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Always drink upstream from the herd.
| Will Rogers |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
On another night, they'd have won 2-2.
| Ron Atkinson |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
The midfield is outnumbered numerically.
| Ron Atkinson |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
For me their biggest threat is when they get into the attacking part of the field.
| Ron Atkinson |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Zero-zero is a big score.
| Ron Atkinson |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
The keeper was unsighted - he still didn't see it.
| Ron Atkinson |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
I tell you what, if the Cameroons get a goal back here they're literally gonna catch on fire.
| Ron Atkinson |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
There's nobody fitter at his age, except maybe Raquel Welch.
| Ron Atkinson |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Well, Clive, it's all about the two M's - movement and positioning.
| Ron Atkinson |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Scholes and Van Nistelrooy drugged the last two defenders.
| Ron Atkinson |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.
| Woody Allen |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.
| Woody Allen |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
I am an only child. I have one sister.
| Woody Allen |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
| Woody Allen |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
| Woody Allen |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
| Woody Allen |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
| Woody Allen |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
| Woody Allen |
/5 - 1 vote(s) |
The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
| Woody Allen |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
| Abraham Lincoln |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Whenever I hear any one arguing for slavery I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
| Abraham Lincoln |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
| Abraham Lincoln |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
| Abraham Lincoln |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly.
| Abraham Lincoln |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
My experience has taught me that a man who has no vices has damned few virtues.
| Abraham Lincoln |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Matt's Mom is Hot
| Frick |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
| Steven Wright |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, Happy Birthday.
| Steven Wright |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
| Steven Wright |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
| Steven Wright |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
| Steven Wright |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
I bought a dog the other day...I named him Stay. It's fun to call him...'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!' He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd.
| Steven Wright |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Ever notice how it's a penny for your thoughts, yet you put in your two-cents? Someone is making a penny on the deal!
| Steven Wright |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said Do I know you?
| Steven Wright |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
| Steven Wright |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
| Steven Wright |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Art is anything you can get away with.
| Marshall McLuhan |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Money is just the poor man's credit card.
| Marshall McLuhan |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Publication is a self-invasion of privacy.
| Marshall McLuhan |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
There are no passengers on spaceship earth. We are all crew.
| Marshall McLuhan |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Advertising is an environmental striptease for a world of abundance.
| Marshall McLuhan |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Ads are the cave art of the twentieth century.
| Marshall McLuhan |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Ads are carefully designed by the Madison Avenue frog-men of-the-mind for semiconscious exposure.
| Marshall McLuhan |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a Cat.
| Ogden Nash |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick.
| Ogden Nash |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
| Ogden Nash |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
| Ogden Nash |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
| Ogden Nash |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
| Ogden Nash |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
| Erma Bombeck |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
I come from family where gravy is considered a beverage.
| Erma Bombeck |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
| Erma Bombeck |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
| Erma Bombeck |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
| Erma Bombeck |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go into overload and blow up.
| Erma Bombeck |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.
| Erma Bombeck |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
| Erma Bombeck |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
| George Burns |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
| Homer Simpson |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
| Zsa Zsa Gabor |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
I remmember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
| Rodney Dangerfield |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
| Calvin |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
| Clifton Fadiman |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.
| John Peers |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh man....I could be eating a slow learner.
| Lyndon B. Johnson |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
He's so optimistic he'd buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants.
| Chuck Tanner |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
| Bob Hope |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah.
| Ronald Reagan |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
| Albert Einstein |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
| Dean Martin |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life.
| Tommy Lasorda |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |
Ninety percent of the game is half mental.
| Jim Wohford |
/5 - 0 vote(s) |